QUERY:
Dear Krista, Brenda, Mónica, and Elizabeth,
Ever wonder why Cinderella’s stepsisters were so mean? They’ve been misunderstood. THE STEPSISTERS is a young adult, steampunk Cinderella told in alternating first person by the stepsisters. It is complete at 55,000 words.
Drusilla “Dru” is a mildly autistic, scientifically-minded teen who doesn’t use pronouns. When her father dies, she vows to complete all his laboratory plans and projects. Dru’s younger sister Charlotte “Lottie” is a social fashionista who grieves the death of her father and the loss of the family fortune. Their mother re-marries to save the family from poverty, and they move to a two-room farmhouse where their stepsister Cyntia Rellah runs a messenger pigeon service.
The Rellah farm is near the country palace of the King and Queen, who are expecting a child. For centuries the Royalty of Jacobia have been born with weak hearts because of an ancient curse. A special medicine is no longer available, so the King brings Dru to the royal laboratory to finish her father’s work: discover a new medicine or create a mechanical heart for an infant. As the day of birth draws near, Dru must complete the invention her father began or else the child won’t survive.
Impressed by Lottie’s sense of fashion and magical aura, the Queen entangles her in a quest to find and kill the descendant of the sorceress who placed the curse. Lottie must choose between saving her family or serving the Queen.
The traditional Cinderella tropes are used and transformed in this tale of magic, science and romance.
I teach children’s literature at the University of Wisconsin, Stevens Point. My adult historical novel, SYNCOPATION: A MEMOIR OF ADELE HUGO was published by Cornerstone Press in 2012. My middle-grade mystery, THE STOLEN GOLDIN VIOLIN, was self-published in 2010. I am a member of SCBWI, AWP and the Historical Novels Society.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
FIRST 250 WORDS:
The gondola of the luxury airship Ludtwidge sways gently beneath its hydrogen-filled webwrought balloon. Pilot Brijit Eyre studies the darkness out the bridge window and taps the barometer. Something’s off. She can feel it in the air, in her bones.
“Betti, change course 5 degrees north-northwest. Alec, get a mech-pigeon ready.”
Captain Eyre flips a valve. Steam hisses through a pipe, moving the engine to full throttle.
The Ludtwidge uses a Steppe steam engine. Instead of creating steam by burning coal or gas, Steppe engines use the flameless heat of firestones. A vast improvement over past airship engines. Flame and hydrogen are a deadly combination.
In the largest cabin of the Ludtwidge, inventor Sir Ernest Steppe lies on his bunk, melting into sleep.
His daughter Dru holds her hat, which begins to fly. She yells at Ernest. No, it isn’t Dru. It’s the Queen. She’s angry at Ernest. He hasn’t done what he should’ve done. Is it about Dru’s engagement to the Prince? He dreads explaining the situation to his wife. The Queen expands to twice her size. Her red hair ignites into flames. She leans over—
Ernest wakes when his body hits the floor. The airship’s gondola rocks. The floor tilts. He slides from one side of the cabin to the other.
Ernest grabs the porthole’s raised edges and pulls himself up. Rain pelts the glass. Lighting flickers in the distance. Thunder rumbles.
“Heavens undone.”
Ernest puts on his shoes and heads to the engine room.
This premise and take on the classic Cindy tale is really good, really different and so far outside the box. Very nice! Good Luck!
Thanks! Good luck to you too!
Such a unique take on the fairy tale. Good luck!
Thank you and good luck to you!
Good luck in the competition! (Are you on Twitter, btw?)
Good luck to you too! I keep meaning to get on twitter….
If you do, come and join some of the other entrants at #TheWVoice whilst we wait for the coaches to make their selections. :o)
Love a Cinderella retelling and with steampunk too!! Good luck! 🙂
Thanks! And good luck to you!
Fairytale retellings aren’t usually my thing, but you’re take stands out—the girl inventor angle makes Dru sound much more compelling than the average Cinderella. I am a bit confused about the Lotte angle, though. Through the first three paragraphs, it seems like Dru is the protagonist, but in the fourth, Lotte seems to be.
Good luck!
Thanks! With the exception of the very brief “prologue” the story is alternating first person between both stepsisters, so they are both protagonists with separate desires and challenges.
Can you make that more clear? I didn’t get that at all. Lotte’s bit feels like an after thought right now.
Thanks for the feedback.
as a former teacher at UW-Milwaukee, great to see a fellow. Really interesting take on the story and a strong opening. Good luck in the contest!
Thank you, and good luck to you!