I’m an irregular blogger. I only post when I feel I have something interesting, clever, funny, or informative to say, but I’m a quiet person, both in person and on paper, and meaningful conversations develop slowly (if at all). My blog forces me to spend time in my head, trying to be poetic, to be a writer that people will want to read. For me, planning a blog post is an enjoyable mind-puzzle–more personal than a Sudoku, more challenging than a crossword, with no wrong answers but with some solutions being much better than others.
I’ve been in my head a lot the past few weeks, but I don’t feel like words are coalescing into anything worthwhile. A part of my life has been crumbling all around me, and I want to pick up the pieces through my writing and create something meaningful and beautiful. Something about my father. My father and I did not agree on very much, but he was a man with a large heart who wanted the best for everyone.
He died of cancer a few days ago. He was diagnosed with cancer only about three weeks earlier. For my family, death has moved swiftly.
I’ll write more when I can think what to say.
This blog post is a lame solution to my current mind-puzzle. When I come up with something better, you’ll read it here.
One thought on “My Dad”
I look forward to reading your further explorations of your mind-puzzle. “Mind-puzzle” – an interesting term for how you lost your parents in two karmic sneak-attacks; each loss as big an emotional body-blow as one is likely to get in this life.
I know what it’s like to be hundreds or thousands of miles away when life events strike at the old home. I know it is a lame thing to say, but we can all be grateful that you & your family aren’t on an overseas assignment, and that you got to see him in time. Make time to take good care of yourself in the days and weeks ahead; it’s easy to forget to do that when preoccupied with grief.
You & I haven’t had much time together; of course, we’ve both been pigeonholed by the presumptions/stereotypes that come with the lives we chose; you’re a writer and an academic; I’ve been in the military service life, and I have no regrets. Yet we are similar in that we both struck out into the world as young women & have experienced people & lifestyles far outside the heartland. I know I’ll be interested to read whatever you choose to write, whenever you get motivated to do so.